Dear friends and family -
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| — Sawatda khrap -- The humble offering of Aquarian insight |
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| Askara at my sunset window -click to enlarge- |
I received many wonderful and positive responses to my last blog, (khawp khun khrap - thank you) and I’m not sure how to follow up. It’s been a week of introspection for me. Just imagine meeting some guy who takes you to his back room with really cheesy linoleum flooring and a dominate altar filled with very cool Buddhas, hatchets and things--and he proceeds to go into a dream you had one night ten years ago, as if the 300 year old dream actually had happened and he knew all about it. Within twenty-four hours, after some sacred rituals, he proclaims me all better. OK. I wrote the last blog in a sort of “what the hell just happened” state of wonder. A sword and some bad woo-woo was removed, and son of a gun, I just may get lucky before I die. But seriously . . .
I needed to start changing my ways--beginning with loving myself more. And I do now, which is what is so remarkable. I actually feel better about myself, stronger, more confident and less confused. I look in the mirror and say, “All right . . . you’re looking good. Damn! All you have to do is show up and love . . . what’s the problem? . . . Just go out there and love everyone!”
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| Me and my new LA bike this morning |
So in my less-confused place I asked, “If I like Chiang Mai so much and feel so good being here, then why am I leaving?” There was no compelling reason to leave, tickets can be changed. So I’m staying. And it'll be even better. The first four months here I was riding around in a piece-of-shit Mary Poppins basket bike, which I rented for fifty cents a day. Since I’m loving myself more I went to a different bike shop and bought a really fast bike--so I can zip around town. Screw Mary Poppins (I’m channeling Julie Andrews) And since I’m staying, I’m finally decorating my apartment and making myself at home. It’s about time. A scooter and a house in the country is sounding like the next thing . . .
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| Shiva |
I took my friend Mark to see Master Lek, which turned into quite a fascinating four hour discussion. I mostly observed so Mark and Lek could get to know each other. It was illuminating, and for me a reminder that I'm here (on earth) to love and serve. About an hour into the session my friend Renee called. Renee left home when she was sixteen and is now fifty-two. She has traveled and lived all over the world by herself. She is strong and independent and has nothing to prove. She asked if I would ride with her in the red taxi bus to the train station, the first step on her trip to Java. OK. We rode across town and talked about nothing in particular on the way to the station. Once there I took her suitcase out of the bus and we hugged goodbye. She had surrendered in asking and I had surrendering in accepting--it was honest and innocent and very sweet. No attachments or agendas. It made my heart happy to love and serve in this simple way—to be able to stop whatever was so important, and be available to love.
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| Sacred offerings |
I might as well mention some other results of the healing. I had previously made an appointment with a medical doctor to have my hormone levels checked--to see if my lack of a normal sex drive had anything to do with hormones. It was the day after my last session with Master Lek. The doctor looked at my files, my testosterone level, my age, asked about erections, rolled his eyes and told me to go away. “Go away.” He suggested that I join a gym, work out for the next six months and then we’ll talk about whether I still think I have sex problem. I’m joining the gym.
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| The door is always open |
For me it is quite simple. I needed to settle down, to be available to love and serve more, to write my books and blogs in my own peaceful and stable environment, and maybe learn the Thai language. To be out there meeting people, responding. It’s a whole lot more fun being actively alive in the world--where I’m able to fluff up the love story and help it come alive for others (and of course myself)--than not.
Another result: the day after the “healing” I went downstairs to pay my rent for another month. The sweet gal who runs the desk was really concerned about my health, and wondered what happened—how I got so much better so quickly. She wanted to hear the story. It was slow telling because of the translations, but she was right there with me—giving 100% attention. After I was through telling the same story I wrote in the last blog, she told hers. She works at the hotel six days a week, ten hours a day. On Saturday night she rides her scooter to the country, to another province so she can relieve her father for two nights a week. Her 65 year old mother has a debilitating disease and needs constant watching. Nook has been doing this for years and because of the routine has had no social life and no romance and didn't see how this would ever change in her lifetime, at least until her mother dies. She's a beautiful gal, probably 30 years old. My story was a total revelation—it was like the messiah had arrived. She was shaking. "Do you think he will see my mother?" I couldn't think of any reason why not, unless her mother doesn't want to be healed. So my healing story was just a little bit about me—and I am praying it will be about all the other people who are willing to walk through the door.
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| Khuang Si - Luang Prabang, Laos —paradise is not that very far away-- |
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| My Prayer |
I forgive myself for anything I have ever said or done that has harmed anyone, in any way, in this or any other lifetime. And likewise, I now love You regardless of anything you have said or done that has harmed me, in any way, in this and any other lifetime. Now I am free and you are free, and we can love in way we have never known before. So it be.
From the awakening love in my heart,
David Dakan Allison
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| the navel has been contemplated |
2 comments:
Love you Dakan! :)
Welcome home.
Kim
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