19. Water on my Heart

Dear friends and family,

My tongue is out because while this picture was being
taken some girl behind me was sending a steady stream
of water to my back.

I have a fascinating story to tell - the continuing of my healing with Master Lek. But before I do I want to write about Songkran, the four day Thai New Year water festival. This saturating event was city wide, but most prominent on the six miles of outer streets around the inner city moat (a great source of water) - which is right outside my hotel door. Songkran is a city-gone-wild party, with tens of thousands of people out in the streets with one goal in mind: throw water on everyone you see - no reservations - in free abandon. You cannot walk or bike or scooter the streets of Chiang Mai during Songkran without getting soaked. Sure, business people can find ways to protect themselves, but if you’re a cute girl on your scooter on your way to work, trying to sneak by - you’re gonna get a bucket of water in your face or down your back. They smile while it happens. A senior farang like me out on the street . . . hahaha

Coming out of the Central Plaza Mall. To the right out of
the picture are girls with power water hoses. There is four
lanes of road out there - filled with people.
-click photo to enlarge-

I got soaked the first day - and I wished I had my good camera, but then again I didn’t want it to get wet. The battery on my pocket camera was dead - so I missed a lot of great on-the-street photos. Sunday, the last day, I decided to go to the Central Plaza Mall when it opened at nine - buy the battery - and get home before the heavy action. In the afternoon I would go on the street below my hotel and take pictures. I rode my bike more than a mile to the Mall, and because it was Sunday it didn’t open until eleven. Nuts. I hug out in Starbucks. By 11:30, coming out of the mall, it looked like this (photo). There was a bandstand with live rock music, a huge crowd dancing - and girls with power water hoses drenching everyone in sight.

The street outside my hotel is not wet from rain. All those pickups
have a barrel or two of water. Note the scooter between the two orange
shirts on the right - he's getting a bucket.

I hid in the mall until three - and then went for it. Happy old farang on a bike - they loved it - from every direction I was a sitting duck. I got home an hour later - dripping wet, but with some good on-the-street shots - and lots of laughs. btw--the party-happy 50 and under American and European tourists absolutely love Songkran. They don’t have to be polite or good for four days - their hidden aggressions come out - men and women with big plastic water guns blasting everyone--like little kids whose parents just gave them permission to give it all they got (it’s a different energy than the Thai’s). Also, Songkran would never be allowed in the US. The police, riot control and the National Guard would be everywhere trying to keep order. In Chiang Mai you didn’t see a policeman anywhere - no sirens - or civic disorder beyond the total civic disorder. The people are left alone to enjoy their chaotic cut-loose water fun for four days. Yahoo!!

Master Lek

While all this was going on, I was continuing my healing odyssey with Master Lek. I call him Master since I have no doubt about his abilities, the next in a 2000 year old lineage of healers. In my first session he removed a 300 year old dagger from my gut and told me a dark energy had been living there. He took the dark energy out and I felt so much better. But soon after that I started getting stomach aches again. In what I thought was an unrelated part of my life, I had met a local sculpture and a Bangkok owner of a bronzing foundry and I had this idea of making and bronzing Buddha-face turtles and Buddha geckos. I drew a bunch of pictures of what I had in mind. The clay artist cringed at my drawings, and I only thought he lacked a sense of humor.

  So anyway, I went to Lek about my stomach. He said right away (without me telling my art story) that I was offending Buddhism with my art. I had been gaining merit and now I was stepping way back by drawing the Lord Buddha as a turtle, to sell to tourists who would be laughing at Buddha. Oh shit. 

Included: honey, seseme seed, rice, candles, holy wood,
incense and nine lotus flowers. Also a picture of me on
top of red and white cloth.

The instructions were to buy these certain items to put on Lek’s altar--an offering to regain merit. This happen last Thursday, the first day of Songkran. I took the red bus to the “offerings” market and as soon as I stepped out some guy nailed me in the chest with a water cannon. Ten feet later I got a bucket of water over my head. My list was in Thai - that was soaked - but I bought the things in the picture here. The streets were packed with traffic and people throwing water. I got in another red bus and scooted way in the back, thinking I’d be safe. Some farang saw me get in. All I could do was open my arms and let him drill me with his plastic cannon. 

The altar where my offering will
remain for the next year or so.

Saturday was the big Buddha religious day and the day of my healing with Lek. The night before he had a vision and saw the source of my stomach problem. Food was upsetting me, coffee made me sick -- I was experiencing an angry stomach. In his dream Lek saw - because of the vacancy - a Tibetan Lama had taken up residency in my gut. The Lama didn’t like the food I was eating, hated coffee and was very upset with my drawings that were offensive to his religion. Angry Lama in my belly. So, on that holy Buddha day, Lek went into ceremony - long prayers I didn’t understand while holding my offering - holy water on my head - and in the end he placed my offering on the altar - to be there for at least a year. He took the Lama out of my gut and put him in the basket. And apparently placed a no-vacancy sign on my stomach--no evil spirits or Lama’s allowed. Truly it was very special and I honestly did feel blessed. Being sacrilegious no longer serves me, and I will honor all Ways with more reverence from now on. (humor is OK)

I left Lek’s home with this sweet serenity, got on my bike a bit bliss’d out, drove around the corner - and - this farang stepped out in the street and blasted me square in the chest with his water bazooka. I’m still laughing. The laughing Buddha!

To end this weeks blog - yesterday I rented a scooter for the first time in my life and followed my friend Mark out to and around a neighboring town. To the six million scooter riders in Hanoi it would be no big deal, but for me being out in the Thai traffic was a bit stressful. I knew I was safe--didn’t foresee an accident--and my only real fear was being hit with a bucket of water while driving a scooter. But that wasn’t going to happen, since Songkran was officially over. We drove around most of the day and in the forty miles there was no one throwing water--except for the one guy with a bucket full who hit me square in the chest at 20 mph! Too funny. The good news--it was 100 degree out and the water felt great. I was dry in about three minutes. 

BTW - no more stomach aches . . . even the Starbuck’s grande went down fine. So I'm back in the shade of my Ease Cafe all is good and I am happy. 

With love, as always,

David Dakan Allison

I had to get my head balanced between those two
gold reindeer.